The ideal woman

Proverbs 31:10-12 (NLT)

Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?  She is more precious than rubies.  Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.  She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Women are described in three different ways in the book of Proverbs---(1) personification of wisdom—e.g. 2:4, 4:6-9, 8:1-3, 9:1-3, (2) personification of immorality—e.g. 5:3-8, 6:24-26, 7:8-27, 9:13-18, and (3) personification of virtue—Chapter 31.

Proverbs 31 describes the “ideal woman” so women reading this chapter, while hopefully inspired to follow the example of the ideal woman, should not berate yourself when you realize that you are not perfect as this Proverbs 31 woman is.  However, with respect to a role model, of course it is infinitely better to follow the example of the Proverbs 31 woman than to follow most celebrity females of dubious character existing today.  Plus, be reminded that the woman/wife described in Proverbs 31 is God’s role model of what she should be.  Booth Tarkington once wrote: “An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband”.   

Let’s evaluate what this passage is saying.  It is saying that a man is extremely fortunate to find a virtuous and capable wife.  Other translations use adjectives like “good”, “strong character”, “noble character”, “excellent”, “intelligent”, and “worthy” in describing this ideal woman.  Other characteristics of this virtuous and capable wife are preciousness, being trustworthy, enriching her husband’s life, and bringing his life good things, never harmful things, all the days of her life.  No wonder the writer says that to find a woman/wife like this is worth far more than expensive jewelry.

The word “virtuous” uses the Hebrew word “ishshah chayil” that literally means “one of power either in mind or body or both”.  This verse can be translated “Who can find a woman of strength, efficiency, and ability?”  The power and strength here refers to power and strength of character---being morally excellent, morally admirable, always telling and representing the truth, honorable and highly-principled.  These are ideals that women should strive for just like all God’s people should strive to be holy, even perfect, although such achievement is impossible from a human perspective.  Still, we should strive always to come close to reaching and being these ideals. 

To be precious means to be “highly esteemed”.  Time is precious because it passes by so quickly.  A child is precious because he/she represents your progeny.  Expensive jewels are precious because of their monetary worth.  Family keepsakes are precious because they are irreplaceable.  So a good woman and good wife are precious.

To be trustworthy is a quality that unfortunately is lacking in the majority of marriages in America if you believe the divorce rate statistics.  Admittedly, trustworthiness is more of a problem women have with men than vice versa.  To trust your marriage partner is the fundamental foundation of a strong God-honoring marriage.

To enrich her husband’s life and bring into his life good things, never harmful things, are qualities of a virtuous wife and woman that any man would dream to have.  Sadly, many women do not have these qualities and more sadly still, many women do, but their husbands are fools who don’t realize what they have and certainly don’t appreciate their wives.  How richly blessed is the man who has a wife who only desires God’s best for him, but also does all she can to be a benefit and blessing to him.    

The tone of the question “Who can find?” suggests that it is very difficult for a man to find such a woman.  Proverbs 18:22 says “Who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord”.  How many happily married husbands would agree?  Unhappy husbands and divorced husbands might also agree although in these situations men might be the problem, not the wife.  I know that I can only speak of my own situation, as is the case with any individual man; that I am blessed to have married the woman I married and believe that she fits this role model.  She is the most selfless person I know.  I hope every married man reading this can say the same thing about your wife and all you single men can aspire to find this kind of woman to fulfill your life someday.  If you are single and looking for the right woman, look to the Lord in prayer so that the Lord Himself might find her for you. 

What qualities of God’s ideal woman portrayed in this chapter do you have?  What qualities do you not have?  What must you start or stop doing?