What Christian love is and is not

I Corinthians 13:1-8a, 13 (NIV)

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.  And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. 

How many wedding ceremonies have you attended where part or all of First Corinthians 13 is read or recited?  How many times have you read this passage yourself or read books about it or heard sermons preached on it?  The point is not that you don’t know what this passage proclaims; rather the question is whether you practice what it proclaims?  Verses 1 through 3 remind you that you might be the most intelligent, wisest, faithful and giving person on earth (note that these are some of the spiritual gifts described in the previous chapter), but if you do not love God nor love others, you accomplish nothing, you are nothing and you gain nothing.  If you claim to be a Christian, the Holy Spirit in you will enable you to love God and others unless, of course, the your attitudes and actions (or lack of) quench the Spirit’s effectiveness in your life. 

Verse 4 through the first part of verse 8 list 16 qualities of authentic Christian love.  When Jesus asked Peter “Do you love Me?” (John 21:15-17) three times, He was asking Peter if he had the kind of love that is described here.  He asks you the same question.  How do you apply these qualities with your spouse, your children and other family members, and in your workplace? 

Love is	What This Really Means	Love is NOT	What This Really Means
Patient	Will you overlook others’ weaknesses?  Will you suffer for your loved one(s)?	Jealous	Are you envious of others’ success?  Do you promote others over yourself?
Kind	Do you speak kind words and do kind deeds	Proud	Do you boast too much?  Do you submit to loved ones’ needs first?
Truthful	Are you honest with others?  Will you confide your weaknesses?	Arrogant	Is there any hidden superi-ority you feel toward your spouse, children, or co-workers?
Sustaining	How well do you handle stress?  Are you an example of inner strength?	Rude	How courteous are you?  What kind of language do you use?
Believing	Do you give the benefit of the doubt?  Do you uplift and encourage others?	Selfish	Do you truly care for others more than yourself?
Hopeful	Do you remain optimistic?  Do you expect the best?	Touchy	Are you easily irritated?  Does your tongue get you into trouble?
Enduring	Do you defend your spouse?  Do you defend your employer?	Judgmental	Do you hold grudges?  Are you nagging, critical, find fault in others?
Successful	Do you see your relationships growing? Can you give evidences of this truth?	Sinful	Is there any promiscuity in your life?  How do you think God sees you as a loving, caring person?

The Bible claims, “Love never fails……”  The Greek word for “fail” means “to come to an end”.  Homes and families built on true Christian love will never fail.  God’s love for His children will never fail.  Christ loved the church (read Ephesians 5:22-28; also used frequently in wedding ceremonies and marriage counseling), despite all our mistakes, faults, and weaknesses. His love never fails. 

In the last verse of I Cor 13, the claim is made that love is greater than faith or hope (interesting exercise---find all the passages of Paul’s letters where he emphasizes faith, hope, and love in the same paragraph---there are many!).  Why is love the greatest?  Here’s one illustration—a young man is charged with murder.  His mother has faith that further evidence will cause charges to be dropped.  No, there’s enough evidence that he is brought to trial.  She continues to have faith that her son is innocent and hope that he will be found innocent at the end of the trial.  No, he is found guilty and sentenced to death.  She continues to have hope that the death sentence will not be carried out.  Yet it is carried out.  However, no matter that her faith and hope are gone, her love for her son remains forever.  “The greatest of these is love”. 

Review the qualities of love, identify those where you are strong and those where you need improvement and ask the Lord to help you to strengthen your ability to love as these verses teach.