Deeper levels of communication

Philippians 1:8 (NLT)

God knows how much I love you and long for you with the tender compassion of Christ Jesus. 

Charles Swindoll wrote a book called “Laugh Again—Experience Outrageous Joy” that focuses on the teaching from the book of Philippians.  He references another book entitled “Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?” authored by John Powell that describes five levels of human communication:

1.   Cliché—e.g. “How are you?” “I’m fine”.  Cliché communication is the outer circle of superficiality, yet is how most communication occurs in church on Sunday mornings.

2.   Report the facts about others—typically the realm of gossip and petty, meaningless little tales about others.  Nothing personal and self-revelatory about these facts, simply reporting them.

3.   Ideas and judgments—Most people are able to communicate at this level, but also most are unwilling.  If you begin to communicate ideas, judgments and decisions and others raise eyebrows, narrow eyes, yawn, look around, etc., you will quickly stop communicating at this level and certainly not any deeper.  We all have experienced this.

4.   Feelings—sharing who you really are and what you really believe.  Most marriages fail to reach this level, much less ordinary communications between Christian friends and other acquaintances.

5.   Intimacy—absolute openness and honesty. 

Paul is referring to the fifth level of human communication.  In verse 7 he stated that others have a special place in his heart because they share with him the special favor of God.  As Christians we all share the special favor of God, yet how many of us go beyond even the first level of communication?  Fellowship in the church is often described not as fellowship but as “helloship”.  This has always bothered me, especially with folks who, no matter how many questions you ask about their lives, they never reciprocate, and, therefore, the level of communication remains low.  Yet, I’m sure that I’ve been guilty of the same problem over the years when others have tried to deepen their communications with me.  We all can improve in the quality and depth of communication. 

What can you do to be practicing more of the depth of communication that Paul describes here and practiced himself?  Who do you know with whom you could deepen the level of communication at least to a level three?  Who might be wanting to develop a deeper level of communication with you, yet you know that you have been guilty of superficiality?  Who in your life fits the description that Paul gives above that God knows how much you love that person(s) and long to deepen that relationship and level of communication?