Moral lesson about gossip

Proverbs 25:9-10 (NLT)

When arguing with your neighbor, don’t betray another person’s secret.  Others may accuse you of gossip,
 and you will never regain your good reputation.

The scripture does not say “if”, but “when” you argue with your neighbor.  So the scriptures assume that arguments between neighbors will occur.  The word neighbor really means anyone else, a friend, a companion, simply another person.  So indeed you know that there’s always someone in your life with whom you will argue from time to time.   Arguments many times can be worked out since often people simply disagree and work to find a compromise or one gives in the other.  However, when arguing you are not to betray another person’s secret.  Doing so will have adverse consequences far beyond the settlement of an argument.

You might be thinking--- “when I’m arguing with someone, when might I ever betray another person’s secret”?  A common example is when you tell the person with whom you are arguing (call him Jim) something that another person told you in confidence about Jim.   Or, to impress upon Jim how much you know compared to him, you reveal someone else’s secret. 

What happens when you betray another person’s secret?  That person will reproach you (as the NASB and NIV translate) and you could become known as a gossip.  Once labeled as a gossip you will never be labeled as an honorable, trustworthy person again.  Think about it………it takes years to build trust with someone and only seconds to destroy it.  

The most common folktale about gossip, told in different ways, involves a man who had slandered another man, a wise man, and started to feel guilty about it.  So he approached the slandered wise man and asked for forgiveness.  The wise man told him that he would forgive him on one condition: that he go home, take a piece of paper, cut it up and place a piece on every doorstep of every person in the town that he has gossiped about.  Though puzzled by this strange request, the young man was happy to be let off with so easy a penance.  He did as he was told then returned to the slandered man’s house. 

“Am I forgiven now?” the gossip asked. 

“Just one more thing,” the wise man said. “Go now and gather up all pieces of paper.”

“But that’s impossible. The wind has already scattered them.”

“Precisely,” the wise man answered. “And though you may truly wish to correct the evil you have done, it is as impossible to repair the damage done by your words as it is to recover the pieces of paper. Your words are out there in the marketplace, spreading hate, even as we speak.”

You can never regain a good reputation if you become known as a gossip.  You must never betray another person’s confidence in you.  Plus whenever you hear someone gossiping, remember this old Spanish proverb----“Whoever gossips to you will eventually gossip about you” 

So arguments/disagreements will occur from time to time, but keep the argument between the two of you; don’t ever breach the confidence of a third person into the argument.  Great wise advice from Proverbs 25:9-10.