“Greater
love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”
How many good
friends do you have? Hopefully
many. What defines a good friend? I have in my files a list of 10 qualities
that defines a good and lasting friend although I don’t know where this list
came from. Those 10 qualities are
1. Makes time
for you
2. Keeps your
secrets
3. Cares for
you
4. Provides
space when you need it
5. Speaks the
truth
6. Forgives your faults
7. Faithful
8. Laughs easily
9. Celebrates you successes
10. Prays for you
These qualities
might help you become a better friend to others. Now, how many really close friends do you
have? By close friends, I mean friends
for whom you would be willing to lay down your life? Your list likely will narrow quite a bit.
Jesus is saying
here that the ultimate test of true friendship is the willingness to lay down
your life for your friends. Does this
mean your willingness to die for your friends?
Yes, it can mean that. Jesus died
for His friends, including you.
If I had enough space I would share the ancient story of Damon and
Pythias, the classic story of friendship[1]. There’s also the
story of David and Jonathan in I Samuel 19-20 and how Jonathan risked his life
to save his friend. Then there’s the
story of the little boy who was asked to donate blood in order to enable his
little sister to survive. He hesitated,
swallowed the lump in his throat, and agreed to do this. After the needed amount of blood was
withdrawn, he asked the doctor, “When do I die?” The little boy did not understand that
donating blood would not kill him. Yet
he was willing to offer his life for his little sister. These are stories that
exemplify the truth of John 15:13.
A more practical explanation
of this verse is Jesus asking you to practice loving others by being willing to
sacrifice your needs/wants for those of others.
Indeed, from this practical viewpoint, when you review the 10 qualities
of a good friend above, note how many of these require preferential love where
you put the friend before yourself and vice versa. The closest of friends have as much or more
interest in the other as oneself. You
make close friends by asking them about themselves, being genuinely interested
in what is going on in their lives, and being there for them when they need
you, even when they have made big mistakes.
Indeed, the old saying is true:
“If you really want to know who your friends are, make a big mistake,
then watch.”
If the love of Jesus is embedded deep
within your heart, that love is greater love and such love will enable you to
want to lay down your life for your friends.
You give your best to Jesus and in your giving to Him you sacrifice
yourself for the sake of others. Jesus
also is commanding you in this verse that you would be willing to lay down your
life for Him. That is, you are willing
to love and serve Him more than loving and serving yourself.
I am very grateful for the few friends I
have who fit the 10 qualities above and who I believe would be willing to die
for me as I would for them. Great
friends as these are so hard to find.
Assess your friendships for a few
minutes. Who fits the qualities
described above? How well do you fit
being the friend of others? Where do you
need to improve? Feel free to affirm to
your friends how much they mean to you and how you hope that you love them as
Jesus described. Also, pray to Jesus
that He is your friend and you are willing to love him as He loved you and gave
His life for you. How blessed you will
feel.
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