Keep your father's commands and don't forget your mother's teaching

Proverbs 6:20-23 (NCV)

My son, keep your father's commands, and don't forget your mother's teaching.  Keep their words in mind forever as though you had them tied around your neck.  They will guide you when you walk. They will guard you when you sleep. They will speak to you when you are awake.  These commands are like a lamp; this teaching is like a light. And the correction that comes from them will help you have life.

Chapters 1 through 7 of Proverbs focus on a father’s advice to his son to be wise in all respects.  I count at least 16 times where the phrase “my son” or “my sons” is used in these seven chapters.  Much of Solomon’s advice to his son warns against sexual misconduct and it takes great wisdom to resist such temptation.  Wisdom comes from the Word of God and is personified in the Person of Jesus Christ (“who became to us wisdom from God”—I Corinthians 1:30).

Have you thought of the father commanding and the mother teaching?  According to Proverbs 6:20 the father sets/establishes the rules and the mother implements the rules.  This may not be true anymore in today’s society where both parents work full time, but historically, the father would work away from home all day while the mother stayed home.  Therefore, the father did not have nearly as much time to spend with his children and teach them continually whereas the mother did have the time.  Think about your upbringing……who taught you the most---your father or your mother?  Of course, in two parent families, both fathers and mothers teach their children, but this biblical model teaches that the father commands and the mother teaches with both commanding and teaching related to knowing and understanding the commandments and teachings of the Bible.

In writing this, it is so sad to reflect on the fact that a large percentage of children live in homes without a father and how devastating divorce is on the upbringing of children.  God intended fathers and mothers to have complementary roles, not roles that either one can do without the other.  Unfortunately many children grow up with a single parent trying to be both father and mother and this is not God’s intent.     

What are children to do with the father’s commands and the mother’s teachings?  Bind them continually on your heart and tie them around your neck.  The heart is the center of your life and must be fed continually.  The feeding here is nourishing from the Word of God. The words “bind” and “tie” convey the sense of strength, something that cannot be broken or taken away.  To bind is to commit God’s Word to your heart.  To tie is to be reminded of God’s Word in your life every day.  Do you try to memorize verses of the Bible that mean the most to you?  Do you apply those verses to your life every day, especially verses that give you wisdom to deal with daily temptation, stress, and other life challenges?  In the context of these chapters dealing with sexual temptation, to tie God’s Word around your neck will keep you from turning your neck to lust upon women.            

What will your father’s commands and your mother’s teaching do for you if you bind them to your heart and tie them around your neck?

·    Guide you when you walk—always lead you in the right directions and make the right choices in your life, both in your personal and in your professional life

·    Guard you when you sleep—allows you to have peace of heart and mind that, among other things, enables you to sleep well

·    Speak to you when you are awake—a heart full of godly wisdom will enable you to have an ongoing dialogue with the Lord throughout your day and produce wise decisions, actions, words, and thoughts.   

Psalm 119:105, made famous by Amy Grant’s song, says that God’s Word is a lamp to your feet and a light to your path.  Your father’s commands are the lamp, your mother’s teachings are the light.  They keep your pathways in life straight and enable your life to be free (John 8:32) and abundant (John 10:10).

As a father or a mother and as a son/daughter, what do these verses say to your heart?   

“By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.” --Charles Wadsworth