Quarreling is for fools and Christians are not to be fools

Proverbs 20:3 (ESV)

It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.

Do you know someone who seems to enjoy arguing (or you are convinced actually loves to argue)?  Do you know someone who is not happy unless he/she is creating chaos?   What about the person who loves to play “devil’s advocate”, always taking an opposing position regardless of their true beliefs?  Might you be one of these people?  The Bible calls them fools. 

Look at politics today with partisan quarrels that never get to the truth.   Congress cannot seem to accomplish anything because of absurd quarreling.  Deborah Tannen authored a book The Argument Culture where she describes our society today as : ''a pervasive warlike atmosphere that makes us approach public dialogue, and just about anything we need to accomplish, as if it were a fight.  Politicians trip up partisan opponents rather than cooperate for the good of the country. Lawyers engage in inane adversarial tactics, like sending documents on paper that smells so bad it makes people sick. Television producers recruit enraged zealots for shows where they yell at one another like lunatics instead of conversing maturely about their differences.”

Quarreling describes the majority of marriages.   Professional sports leagues shut down because of quarreling between owners and players over one another’s greed.  The Christian right points the finger at anyone disagreeing with them; Christian evangelism often has resulted in unresolved differences.  Do you think there would be the huge number of church denominations and non-denominations today if there was no quarreling amongst believers?  Yes, there are a lot of fools in our world and in the history of mankind.     

Proverbs 20:3 speaks in absolute terms.  Every fool will quarrel.  Why is quarreling so associated with being a fool?  I looked up the definition of a fool in the Pictorial Bible Dictionary (Zondervan, 1967).  Here’s part of what it says:  “Proverbs and Ecclesiastes makes about 80 statements about fools, showing their emptiness, conceit, pride, boasting, self-confidence, thick-headedness, and wordiness”.  The Hebrew word used for “quarreling” is “gala” that literally means “to meddle”.  To meddle can mean to dispute, disagree, differ, find fault, and complain.  God does not want His people to do these things in His family.  Quarreling is a sin (Proverbs 17:19-20) and sin describes a fool.

You may be thinking “What about the person who speaks lies about the Bible, the church, etc.  Am I supposed to say nothing?”  Yes, you should/must speak up in defense of the faith, but you need to be led by God as you speak.  Arguments are rarely done in a godly manner.  Too often impulsiveness takes over, we get angry, and we quarrel negatively.  James 1:20 says that “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires”.  If you read carefully the gospels that record Jesus’ words against the Pharisees and other resistant Jews, He never quarreled with them.  He listened and then He reproved without displaying anger that accompanies quarreling.   

To quarrel is to be a fool and Christian people are to not to be fools.  You are to be a good listener, a slow to react speaker and never let anger control you (James 1:19-20).   Paul wrote to Timothy that “the servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome” (II Timothy 2:23-26).  Note in this message that the Lord’s servant must be “kind to all, able to teach, patient when wronged, and with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition”.  Is that being accomplished when people are quarreling?  Allow these wise biblical words sink deep into your heart in order to apply them in your marriage, in your job, and in all of your life’s interactions with other people.  Don’t ever allow yourself to be viewed as a fool by the Lord again.